Julia's Thoughts on Life

In our testimony meeting at church, a guy from Canada got up and said, "It's okay, to not be okay." Well dang. That sums up my whole week. Why do we all respond to the question, "How are you doing?" with the same freaking answer? We are not all okay and yet everyone I talked to yesterday (who I knew was struggling) gave me the same answer that I have been giving--- "I'm doing well!" "I'm good!" I'm as guilty as the next person. Someday I hope I can feel that it's okay to not be okay. Maybe it's ok if I'm not ok 'Cause the One who holds the world is holding onto me Maybe it's all right if I'm not all right 'Cause the One who holds the stars is holding my whole life -We Are Messengers, Maybe It's Ok

Okay, I have to apologize in advance... that post title is super dramatic because I just feel like a dramatic person at the moment. When I think about some prayers that changed my life, I can't narrow it down to just one. There was the prayer I said which led me to serve a mission, the prayer that I said after escaping a potentially dangerous encounter in a dark alley in Brussels, the first prayer I said in French in front of a lot of women that terrified the heck out of me, the prayer I was invited to say in a Buddhist fire ceremony... the list goes on-- each one holding a special piece of my testimony together. But this prayer was on an average, rainy day in Washington that had little to do wit anything profound. It was a prayer of help. Recently I have been struggling...a lot. My health and body are not as ship-shaped as I would like them to be and ever since I came home from my mission, I have struggled with bouts of depression. This past week, it has been really bad. Som...

Talking with my brother about the yoga training I did was kind of cool because he articulated something so profound to me: there's a difference between namaste peace and spiritual peace. Yes, we go to yoga and get zen-ed out on our mats while sitting in lotus position, eyes, closed, and our hands bent into different mudra shapes, maybe throwing in some "ohhhhhhms" if you will. But that "peace" is so much different than the kind of peace I feel reading the scriptures or sitting at church. This thought has led me to ponder the question: " What are the different levels of peace?" Level 1 is having a peaceful atmosphere. Exterior. Surrounding. Environment. Everything around us can be peaceful; like a placid lake, a secluded forest, or the perfect stillness after a fresh blanket of snow. But the outside can be totally different from whats going on in the inside! You could be sitting at the beach stressed out of your mind and not even enjoy the f...

To begin, let's clarify what a mono diet is. No, it's not to cure mono, the "kissing disease". No, I'm not doing this to lose weight (although I hear it's an added benefit). No, you won't die from just eating one food for a little bit. Yes, I really will be eating one food for some time to test it out. (The goal is a week. We will see). So it all started when I was talking to my sister about those "banana diets" and "potato diets" that people do to lose weight. She did it once and apparently it worked although she hated it. We laughed. Conversation over. The next day, my mom opens up her Medical Medium book and was like, "hey, for people with really sensitive stomach problems and digestive issues, this guy recommends mono eating for a little time to build up your stomach's defense system." I don't think anything is a coincidence so I decided to give it a shot. The odds of it popping up multiple...

Yup. I'm hooked. Drinking celery juice every morning on an empty stomach? Works wonders. It's my lifeline at this point. So many weird stomach problems (that probably have to do with my gallbladder and liver and small intestinal streptococcal overgrowth but no doctor can figure it out)... So if all else fails, I know that this stuff works. I know it like I know that God really lives and loves us. <<And that's 110% sure>> My miracle juju. Just put clean celery into the juicer and BOOM. Done. 100% celery juice.  Juiced (not blended). Pulp-free. No strings.

The person who left on her mission in 2017 is a lot different than the return-missionary typing this in 2019. As I have been trying to adjust to life and dealing with the normal, everyday stressors that people have to deal with, I noticed two major characteristics that have changed about myself: I am more 1) close minded and 2) s ubmissive/passive. Or is it that I have a stronger testimony and am more trusting/faithful ? Let me put it into context. Before I became a missionary, I was very open to other people's paths of enlightenment or spirituality. Most people considered me a "free spirit" and I was intrigued with other philosophies and religions like meditation and cool healing stories and whatnot. But then I came home from my mission and found myself thinking, "if it's not the priesthood that is authorizing that healing or experience, then something is fishy." For example, the philosophy of yoga that I am currently studying as part of my cert...

This is one thought or piece of inspiration I received while studying my scriptures that helped put my troubled heart at ease. I think about my mission a lot so it's just one recorded instance of many! When I was in the midst of being really sick on my mission, I found strength in Elder Bednar's story of when he visited with Elder Neil A. Maxwell in 1997. Elder Maxwell had received intensive chemotherapy treatments earlier that year and was still going out to serve the Lord with all his might, mind, and strength. Elder Bednar said, " During the course of our conversations that day, I asked Elder Maxwell what lessons he had learned through his illness. I will remember always the precise and penetrating answer he gave. “Dave,” he said, “I have learned that not shrinking is more important than surviving.” " On my mission, I interpreted this as "forget about the pain, just go and serve! Don't shrink, just do it." It was about putting the work ahead o...