Julia's Thoughts on Life

In our testimony meeting at church, a guy from Canada got up and said, "It's okay, to not be okay." Well dang. That sums up my whole week. Why do we all respond to the question, "How are you doing?" with the same freaking answer? We are not all okay and yet everyone I talked to yesterday (who I knew was struggling) gave me the same answer that I have been giving--- "I'm doing well!" "I'm good!" I'm as guilty as the next person. Someday I hope I can feel that it's okay to not be okay. Maybe it's ok if I'm not ok 'Cause the One who holds the world is holding onto me Maybe it's all right if I'm not all right 'Cause the One who holds the stars is holding my whole life -We Are Messengers, Maybe It's Ok

Okay, I have to apologize in advance... that post title is super dramatic because I just feel like a dramatic person at the moment. When I think about some prayers that changed my life, I can't narrow it down to just one. There was the prayer I said which led me to serve a mission, the prayer that I said after escaping a potentially dangerous encounter in a dark alley in Brussels, the first prayer I said in French in front of a lot of women that terrified the heck out of me, the prayer I was invited to say in a Buddhist fire ceremony... the list goes on-- each one holding a special piece of my testimony together. But this prayer was on an average, rainy day in Washington that had little to do wit anything profound. It was a prayer of help. Recently I have been struggling...a lot. My health and body are not as ship-shaped as I would like them to be and ever since I came home from my mission, I have struggled with bouts of depression. This past week, it has been really bad. Som...

Talking with my brother about the yoga training I did was kind of cool because he articulated something so profound to me: there's a difference between namaste peace and spiritual peace. Yes, we go to yoga and get zen-ed out on our mats while sitting in lotus position, eyes, closed, and our hands bent into different mudra shapes, maybe throwing in some "ohhhhhhms" if you will. But that "peace" is so much different than the kind of peace I feel reading the scriptures or sitting at church. This thought has led me to ponder the question: " What are the different levels of peace?" Level 1 is having a peaceful atmosphere. Exterior. Surrounding. Environment. Everything around us can be peaceful; like a placid lake, a secluded forest, or the perfect stillness after a fresh blanket of snow. But the outside can be totally different from whats going on in the inside! You could be sitting at the beach stressed out of your mind and not even enjoy the f...